Within the consensus reality, many feel that emotions just
get in the way. Many see no value in "wasting time"
talking or explore emotions as they want to move on to solving or
resolving. Many want to skip the feeling it part so they
can move swiftly to the fixing it part. It is a
chauvinistic attitude, to be sure, but many feel that they do not
want to face or talk about emotion because it, "Just screws
things up."
With the New Age, there are those who, similarly, do not want
to deal with emotions. Though these people would use different
words, I feel that often the motivation is the same: Emotions get
in the way. This is my opinion about what I see happening.
Often the idea that we each create our reality is used to
discourage feeling emotions and to admonish those of us who want
to feel and to express ours. Most of us know the argument too
well.
Sometimes it sounds like, "Since you create your own
reality, I could not have made you feel anything. You created
feeling that way, so deal with it." In attempting to deal
with it, we sometimes argue with ourselves, "Since I create
my own reality, I do not have a right to feeling anything but
love."
Whether it is coming at us or coming from us, we tell
ourselves that any feeling other than love is not valid; any
other feeling is often called wrong or inappropriate. Regardless
of the label, it turns into a denied emotion.
I have found that when something happens in our reality, we
always have emotions with feelings around the happening. It seems
important to explore those emotions fully before we move
on to assessing why we created the particular reality that
happened. Lazaris has always enthusiastically supported us in
figuring out the why's and how's of reality creation; he has
always enthusiastically encouraged us to identify the emotions,
to feel the emotions, to express them appropriately, and to
release or resolve the emotions first.
Lazaris has talked of the Soot on the Screen analogy.
I have found it helpful. Emotions, acknowledged or not, stand
between us and the event that generated them. They are suspended
there in our view of the world and in our view of the particular
event within our world. When something happens that produces
sadness, anger, hurt, fear, outrage, fury, etc., those emotions
stand between us and the reality we created as if they were soot
on a screen.
Ironically, the consensus (within and without the New Age) is
correct: Emotions -- both happy and unhappy ones -- do get in the
way just as soot on the screen gets in the way of our view.
However, the way of dealing with them is not to ignore them, to
pretend they do not matter, or to pretend that they are not
there.
If we do not blow off that soot first, when we try to
understand the event -- when we try to find the meaning and the
significance to the event, we will pull all that emotion into us.
It will obscure whatever meaning or significance that we find or
assess.
The point of this Soot on the Screen analogy is that
when we step up to the screen, we should exhale first. We should
blow off the soot by identifying what the emotions are. Then we
would be advised to feel those emotions with intensity and depth.
Once felt, we should do whatever is appropriate to express or
vent them. Finally we should resolve and release the emotions
with their feelings. This is blowing the soot off. It can happen
very quickly.
Then we can see more clearly. Then when we seek meaning --
when we inhale -- we won't get a mouth full of soot. Without the
blowing off, whatever meaning would be polluted. Sometimes it may
be polluted with self-punishment and self-blame. Sometimes the
pollution will be resentment that is inward or outward. Sometimes
it could be nobility and self-righteousness.
Whatever it is, it is not as clear a meaning -- as real a
meaning -- as it could be. It is not as high a truth as we could
seek.
Once we blow off the soot, then we can proceed with a certain
elegance with figuring out what the lessons are that we can learn
from the situation. Then the meaning we find and the significance
that we give will be more valuable and empowering. We can change
and grow with greater elegance and ease.
I have found that this process of dealing with the emotions
and feeling them, applies to postive events as well as to the
more obvious negative ones. When something incredible happens,
Lazaris advises us to identify, feel, express, and resolve the
emotions first. When something positive happens, we may feel
happiness, joy, excitement, empowerment, etc. These emotions,
though wonderful and beautiful, can color or distort the positive
meaning of an event, too.
The difference comes in the resoluton and release stage. When
it is a negative emotion, I want to resolve and release by
letting go -- detaching by rising above and beyond. When it is a
positive emotion, I want to resolve and release by taking it into
me -- detaching by making it a part of who and what I am. Either
direction, the resolution and release is vital, I think. It is
then that we can honestly -- or more honestly -- seek the
higher and highest truth that is so much a part of our spiritual
challenge.
Every so often, I like to remind myself about the value of
identifying, feeling, expressing, and releasing-healing my
emotions. I enjoy pondering the Soot on the Screen; even more I
enjoy exhaling before I try inhaling.
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